My favorite Disney princess is Elizabeth Swann because rather than becoming a princess, she was like “nah, fuck that” and became a king instead.

hangthecode:

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deathbymorning:

eggsnogging:

in my senior drama class i had to play gordon ramsay for a film project but we could only film in school so we had to try to find a closed off room to use. the thing is the room wasn’t exactly soundproof and apparently someone heard us and that’s the story of how the vice principal and four freshmen walked in on me wearing a chef’s hat and yelling at my friend because her squid was so raw i could still hear it telling spongebob to fuck off

did you get an A

(Source: xylemphone)

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VIA lameongrab
ORIGINALLY xylemphone

soupjpg:

 

larvalhex:

back home there’s a famous inn renowned for it’s ridiculously kitschy “themed” rooms that haven’t changed since like the 1960’s-70’s & i’ve always wanted to stay in one really bad (esp that last one like hello, giant round blue bed??? amazin)

WHEN ONE IS EXPECTING

maliciaous:

imyourdestinymotherfucker:

Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):

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BUT WAIT

THIS:

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IS:

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SOME:

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OF THE BRILLIANT:

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STUFF IT HAS IN IT:

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WHAT THE HELL

plightofthevalkyries:

amischiefofmice:

PRAISE BE

When I worked at a fast food restaurant, I did a social experiment.

One day, I asked “do you want a girl toy or a boy toy?” No one went against gender roles.

The next day, it was “do you want a doll toy or a car toy?” Boys got dolls. Girls got cars.

Vocabulary is important.

(Source: scarfetsu)

178881
VIA goregeousity
ORIGINALLY scarfetsu

dalasharaia:

oh.my.god

fallontonight:

inranks:

fallontonight:

Jimmy reads his favorite fan-submitted #AwkwardBreakup tweets!

"Neither of us knew what to do so we high fived"

That break up ended kind of nice, right? Everyone loves a high five. 

meloetta:

"text me when you get home so i know you’re safe" kinda people are the people i wanna be around

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VIA moffating
ORIGINALLY meloetta
We gotta start teaching our daughters to be somebodies instead of somebody’s.
- Kifah Shah (via lazyteen)

(Source: ivicus)

If you haven’t heard this song you should go listen now because literally every line is amazing and I couldn’t gif it all [x]

(Source: kearabaggins)

bluandorange:

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"The shitstain’s fine, crank it Stark."

thekingofwinter:

takohai:

glitteringknight:

"Your highness" is gender neutral.

So you know, if you’re ever confused about my pronouns.

That’ll work.

alternatively, “your majesty,” “my liege,” and “supreme overlord”

please note that “your grace” is also acceptable